Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
