no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
