I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize