i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
