i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
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pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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