do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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