haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
