butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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