So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
