I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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