You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
