im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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