There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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