I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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