his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize