That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
