Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
