Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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