Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
