When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So. Much. Porn.
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