i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
