I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
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I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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