omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
