: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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