Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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