I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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