hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
