nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
