you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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