New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
