if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
