help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
