You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
