Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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