We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
