If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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