i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize