yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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