Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
