butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize
