I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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