You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
