I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
