The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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