apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
