ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
