standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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