i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize