The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just pee around me
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize