Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
