Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
