hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
