and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
