We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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