Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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