Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
