I think im going to throw up on grandma
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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