Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
