I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
