I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Randomize
