I didn't shave. On purpose
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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