We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I did not marry a roomba.
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