its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
