DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
