Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
