Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
