I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
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What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize