i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
