pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
